Thoughts on Egypt

I haven't really blogged about this, so here goes.
I never wanted to go to Egypt. A year and a half ago, when we started planning this production, I didn't want to go. I spent weeks, no - months, praying that God would change my heart. My assumption was that I didn't want to go because I was scared of it. After some serious soul searching, I came to terms with the fact that what I really wanted was to be pregnant. And I felt called to be - now. And I was tired of putting my life on hold for my job, no matter how cool of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity awaited. It was a matter of pride to comes to terms with that. But once I did, I have never felt more relieved and satisfied in my identity. God even blessed me with a pregnancy pretty close to "my" timeline. I have never had any regrets about not hauling a 60lb backpack through the desert for 20 hour days.

Until today.

Keith called this morning from the top of Mount Sinai. I could be there with him. But I'm at home, knocked up. I say it so casually because my twinge of jealousy, of what could have been, is short lived. Sitting at my desk sorting receipts, I am doing the most important job of my life - I'm a mother.