I thought they were FRUIT of the loom

There's been a lot of Fruit Guys commercials lately.
Every time we see one, Keith and I get flustered by the brownish guy.
I mean - why are they the fruit guys, and there's TWO sets of grapes, and one... fig? Artichoke?
Well, I just have to say thank goodness for the internet.
He's a leaf?!

Get out.

I hate these commercials because they involve grown men dressed as fruit. And not just fruit - redundant fruit. Two grapes?!
But I hate them even more because they remind me of the worst Halloween costume ever.

cue flashback...
My friend Alissa was beautiful. She had long hair and freckles. She lived in a yuppy neighborhood that handed out real sized candy bars on Halloween. We went trick or treating there. She had the sweetest Pippi Longstocking get-up you can imagine. And it was all home made - she had pipe in her pigtail braids. It was hot. Everyone oohed and ahhed all over her that year.

And I just got a patronizing "And what are you?!"
Ooh, that would piss me off. I mean come ON! Was I NOT carrying a microphone? Puh-leez. And my face was painted purple.
Clearly I was a California Raisin.
Nevermind that my head... um... covering... was a cluster of grapes.
I don't really know why my mom let me wear a grape mask when I was trying to be a raisin, but in my 7 year old mind, it was clear as a bell.
It was the last year I ever went trick or treating.

And after all this, I'm feeling a bit convicted about talking so much smack about the leaf guy. I'm sure it all makes sense in the depths of a marketing plan somewhere. And the fact that the rest of us just don't understand makes me want to reach out and hug the ugly little leaf guy and offer him a Hershey bar.

Full size, of course.